You’re not likely actually interested in a script, as you…

However you’re most likely not actually interested in a script, as you probably understand how to phrase choosing to keep a situation that is social.

We suspect what you need is just a magical phrase to ensure that the rapey asshole of a(n ex-)boyfriend will not respond badly if you work out agency with techniques he dislikes, and there’sn’t this type of expression, because he is a rapey asshole. All you could can perform on your own end (after dumping his ass and locking straight down their use of you – if you are concerned about him responding defectively to no into the minute, perhaps you are well encouraged to concern yourself with relatiation once you dump him) is look right back and see if there have been any warning flag you ignored, resolve to accomplish better about separating with individuals who exihibit them straight away if that’s the case, and work to alter our social norms to make certain that individuals (both would-be perpetrators and would-be or actual victims) can better recognize exactly what comprises intimate attack and recognize that it really is categorically maybe not fine.

But none of the is whatever you did incorrect, and I also concur with the other people that the 3rd seems like a guy that is decentish.

(a good thing will have been in breach of one’s stated wishes, kick (ex-)Boyfriend down, while making yes you’re safe and soon you could get together with a buddy or member of the family, though perhaps not attempting to risk being a target himself, specially since my read the following is that there surely is a significant possibility you might have sided together with your rapey boyfriend, is understandable. For him to shut your boyfriend down whenever he attempted to get him to bang you) The advice as to what you can certainly do is sensible, perhaps maybe not a project of culpability; unfortuitously, so long as assholes occur, there is no way that is magic prevent them totally, or even to merely cause them to become not be assholes. Real time, learn, and move ahead.

Addendum: Third is eligible for their boundaries and conditions for intercourse, too; I do not also concur that insisting on condomless intercourse and making whether it’s not on offer is a move that is asshole.

LW was not any longer eligible to have the sex that is particular desired than either for the guys had been; she is entitled and then n’t have intercourse she does not want and now have intercourse that is mutually consensual. Her a bitch as a result, sure, he’s an asshole, but agreeing to only have sex under certain conditions – even ill-advised conditions like unprotected sex with strangers – and leaving if that’s not on offer 321sexchat cc is proper boundary behavior, not asshole behavior if he did something like actually call. We would like visitors to keep if what they need – the ONLY thing they want – is not one thing one other individual is enthusiastic about doing, in place of, state, pressuring someone else to ignore zir stated boundaries until ze cracks.

After which i eventually got to BucksFan’s follow-up remark; ok, Third has also been an asshole. If only it had been simpler to write my ideas when I get without having the threat of losing them to a negative connection or web browser crash – this way i really could return and delete things rendered redundant or incorrect by later on responses – but it is currently an adequate amount of a pain to change tabs to check on areas of the page and scroll up and down seriously to read commentary after which type to my phone without including in swapping forward and backward from a term processing software.

@44: we had been disagreeing as it did not match that which was stated, perhaps maybe not as a result of sex. Being a lady does not magically make an individual’s perception accurate or insulate one from self-serving and even perception that is simply erroneous recall. Yelling “Patriarchy! ” to shut any time someone down does not immediately trust a female’s viewpoint is not feminism (not least because 100% of females do not concur on a regular basis, therefore if two ladies disagree about a known matter of fact or jugdment, it is not also an alternative to trust both ladies by default), it is simply imperious narcissism.

@61: if you want to phone law enforcement (and that may be your best option in some instances), opt for, “My boyfriend is wanting to persuade another guy he brought over here to rape me personally. ” Re: 62, I would personally not be using your (ex-)boyfriend’s advice concerning what comprises flags that are red HAVE dumped him, no? ).