5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse
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A game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions about a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud. Regarding the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to resolve an extremely loaded statement: “Name grounds a lady might choose to be having a chubby or fat man. ”</p>
The contestants’ answers end up supplying a round that is humorous the minds for the participants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.
But my sister did share that is n’t movie on the Facebook web page to garner laughs from her relatives and buddies. It had been just the opposite: my sibling had been annoyed in the round’s subject while the responses offered. My cousin penned:
“This actually bothers me! For this reason individuals think you need to be skinny/fit to be stunning, to be desired, to be liked, and also to deserve anything…this is certainly not OK! ”
My sister tagged me personally in this article once you understand my history in fat studies and sex studies (and also as a fat person that is masculine, once you understand i might concur together with her frustrations.
Image description: A screenshot associated with the Family Feud game board using the six top responses: “Fatty got cash” (34 away from 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The thing this round that is particular of Feud does correctly is summarize a number of the unfortunate myths our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat men — and relationships.
But, calling away fatphobic urban myths had been demonstrably perhaps not the game’s aim. Rather it perpetuated body terrorism against fat figures to get cheap laughs. Let’s undergo each one of the top six many popular answers in order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and damaging to guys of size.
1. “Fatty Got Money! ”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable For Their Cash or Energy
The misconception: the truth that this misconception is considered the most popular regarding the six offered responses — 34 regarding the 100 individuals originally surveyed provided this or a similarly-worded response — is troubling by itself. This misconception is one thing we come across throughout US culture, whether it is in movies, politics, or culture that is popular.
In cases where a classically appealing person of every sex has been a fat guy, the overall assumption is that this fat guy should have cash or some form of energy. Why else would a person who could presumably get with anyone they desired prefer to get with a disgusting fat guy, right?
This type of idea is incredibly damaging for the complete great deal of fat males, putting almost all their value as people to the money or energy they might or might not have.
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The reality: While you will find, needless to say, many people whom just seek relationships for the money or power, the reality is that frequently, individuals will choose to be having a fat guy because they really wish to be with him. This misconception is significantly less often placed on skinny or “fit” guys, unless of course that individual is famous to own cash or energy. However it’s much easier for folks to comprehend two thin or traditionally appealing individuals being together because they’re drawn to one another than each time a thin or typically appealing individual chooses become with a fat man for any other less shallow reasons.
2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat Individuals
The myth: with this particular misconception, we come across just how individuals try to take people’s that are away fat. It signifies that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, because they only find other fat people attractive or that’s all they can “get”, in the most brutal of terms whether it’s.
Slipped into this misconception is an associated fatphobic misconception: that all fat everyone loves for eating plenty of food, and all people who want to consume food are fat.
The facts: Put clearly, the assumption that fat individuals will just look for relationships along with other fat people is false. Humans — fat, skinny, plus in between — may be and frequently are interested in a wide variety of individuals of all size and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will just ever be with fat individuals are at ab muscles least ignorant, or even entirely fatphobic and sizeist.
So that as when it comes to proven fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that is another misconception too.
3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Guys Are Ugly
The misconception: All fat males, in accordance with this worldview, are inherently less attractive than just about any partner they are able to ever have. Such men’s lovers would just make use of them to show up more attractive in comparison. This misconception helps make the assumption that, as previously mentioned above, no body could conceivably be in a relationship by having a man that is fat they’re actually interested in him. Fat folks are just tools to presumably make their non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.
The reality: just like many people might pursue a fat man for cash or energy, some individuals might only pursue fat males to appear more appealing to others. In fact, though, this is apparently less frequent than this solution might have us think.
I’ll keep saying the purpose, no matter if We seem like a broken record: people really find fat males appealing!
4. “She’s In Love”
This is the only real truly mocking-free solution included in the very best answers regarding the board. That by itself is illustrative associated with fatphobia that is entrenched display into the other countries in the responses. Additionally is available in at 9/100, and therefore away from 100 individuals surveyed, “She’s in love” had been the solution provided by just nine people.
What exactly are fat males viewing designed to think of their health and their well well worth as people?
5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Good For Cuddling Although Not Sex
The myth: it is those types of stereotypes that are“positive many of us attempt to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all homosexual men are stylish and confident. ”
Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, not much else regarding the side that is“positive” of. As proof of this, among the game show participants gave a solution that wound up perhaps maybe not being in the board: that a female would date a fat guy because he had been proficient at intercourse. Steve Harvey, in their “comedic” fashion, responded as though it was probably the most answer that is outrageous the whole world, utilizing the other participants while the audience laughing in contract. By doing this, the show promoted the idea that while fat males can cuddly be warm and, they aren’t to be noticed as sexual beings, let alone “good” at sex.
The facts: the matter with “positive stereotypes” is they anyone that is automatically alienate does not remain in those stereotypes. Worse, they alienate anyone who really wants to be viewed as more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by society.
Truly the only redeeming quality our culture allows fat men — if they aren’t rich or effective, rather than also 100% of that time — is that they’re like fluffy teddies. Even though many fat males are certainly “warm and cuddly, for them to see this as their only positive trait” it’s harmful.
Further, just just what somebody perceives to be that is“good “bad” at intercourse is normally entirely subjective and situated in personal preference. Ridiculing the idea that fat guys might be “good” at Conseils parship intercourse further entrenches fatphobia that is systemic.
6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too In Need Of Like To Be Unfaithful
The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat on the lovers, the reasoning goes, since they wouldn’t do just about anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they usually have within their present relationship. Put differently, they already know that no body else may wish to be together with them.
The reality: To place it bluntly, that is directly incorrect. This dehumanizing survey response assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and attention that is romantic.
As damning as it can be to acknowledge, fat guys are just like likely as some other guys to cheat on the lovers. And many more crucially, this misconception posits that fat males are incredibly ugly, nobody will give them the opportunity to cheat on the lovers, which, once more, can also be inappropriate to assume.
